


Good Queen, Good Thief

by scarimor



Series: Bad Mayor, Bad Cop [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Consensual Kink, F/F, Humor, Light BDSM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 18:55:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2319878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarimor/pseuds/scarimor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>previously, on Once Upon a Swan Queen:</em> </p><p>Emma planted a sweet kiss on Regina's lips. "Anyway, that was intense. But next time we do fantasy it's one of mine, all right?"<br/>"Which is?"<br/>"Thieving peasant girl is caught and hauled before the Queen for chastisement."<br/>Regina laughed. "Ok. Original."<br/>Emma smirked. "Roll your eyes all you like, Your Majesty. I get to play the Queen."<br/>"Oh fuck..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Queen, Good Thief

**Author's Note:**

>   
>   
>  (many thanks to the wonderful [beegoddess](http://beegoddess.tumblr.com/) for the cover art)

"Do you know where I put my car keys?"

Emma ran her fingers through her uncombed hair as she searched the kitchen cupboards and shelves. Why was it that no matter how hard she tried to get to work early something always delayed her? Damn it, if she didn't plan to be early she'd never even be on time.

On the far side of the kitchen Regina merely shook her head and poured herself black coffee.

"Damn," said Emma, "I could've sworn I left them in here. Guess I'll have to find the spare set."

Which took Emma another ten minutes of rooting around in drawers upstairs, so when she did finally get out the front door she was already late anyway.

The following morning wasn't much better.

"Shit. Have you seen my watch anywhere?"

Regina glanced up from a crisp newspaper and peered over her reading glasses.

"That huge glowing paperweight that's waterproof to two hundred metres and simultaneously tells you the time in London, Sidney and Hong Kong?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Not lately," said Regina, and returned to her newspaper.

"Shit. Guess I must've left it at the station."

When Emma couldn't find her cell phone after breakfast the next day she was ready to throttle someone.

"Fuck! Do we have an infestation of Borrowers or something?"

"The Borrowers went extinct, dear."

"Really?"

"Too small a gene pool." Regina spoke calmly over her trademark morning steaming coffee, elbows resting on the gleaming counter, one knee crossed over the other on a stool. She watched Emma open another cupboard door and slam it shut again. "I doubt it's with the cereal, dear."

Emma picked up the toaster, shook it, then banged it back down on the scatter of crumbs she'd created.

"Or in there," said Regina, cool and apparently unfazed by the mess Emma was making.

Flustered and annoyed, Emma stood with her hands on her hips and tried to think up more places to look. "How can so much of my shit just disappear?"

"No doubt one of those peasants is responsible," said Regina.

It took a few seconds for Regina's words to register. When they did, Emma looked at her sharply.

"One of those what?"

"Peasants," said Regina. "The thieving sort." She sipped her coffee.

Emma felt herself blinking a few times. Hold up...

"Come to think of it," said Regina, "I did see a suspicious character in the grounds yesterday. Perhaps you should alert your guards to be on the lookout."

Emma froze. _No way._ "You..."

Emma hoped her jaw-drop wasn't too obvious, but she was pretty sure she was doing a fair impression of the proverbial village idiot right now. Well _fuck_.

Regina maintained perfect eye contact over her cup of coffee but said nothing. Apparently it was still Emma's move. Only Emma didn't have one. Not yet anyway. She took her hands off her hips and massaged her biceps, trying to fill the lengthening silence with some kind of activity. She cleared her throat but when she spoke her voice still sounded a bit croaky.

"A suspicious character?" Emma figured repetition was her best bet, at least until her improvisational skills caught up with that part of her brain that was cottoning on to what Regina meant.

Regina nodded, eyes fixed on her in a way that Emma figured was intensely meaningful... somehow.

"Like a thieving peasant girl?" asked Emma.

Regina was patient. "Could be. I didn't get a close look." Sip. More meaningful stare.

The frustration Emma had been feeling gave way to incredulity as she realised exactly why her stuff had been vanishing over the last three days - which in turn gave way to something much warmer as she realised what Regina was offering. Oh...

_Oh!_

Behind her coffee cup, Regina might have been smirking a little. It was hard to tell.

Emma's mouth was suddenly very dry. She licked her lips. Ok, play it cool.

"So, do you think this thief will turn up again?" Emma asked.

"I think that's highly likely," said Regina. "Once a thief finds a good mark they exploit them mercilessly."

Emma suppressed a snort. A mark indeed.

"And what time of day did you spot this thief lurking?"

"Early evening. Around five, I think."

"So... if I cut short my regal duties today I might catch the thief in the act." It was phrased like a statement but obviously a question.

Regina raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it wiser to send your guards to patrol the grounds? Thieves can be dangerous. You should be careful."

Oh, thought Emma. Now it's on.

"I think I can handle one thieving peasant."

"What if this one's armed?"

"I can disarm a thief."

"Some thieves can be quite disarming."

Not for the first time Emma wondered what it would be like to play poker with Regina. She would really have to try that sometime. But not today. Today promised something way better. She watched as Regina slipped down from her stool and put her empty cup in the dishwasher, her movements especially provocative for so early in the day.

Emma narrowed her eyes at her new prey, some of her frustration creeping back in. "You know, I must have wasted a good couple of hours this week tossing the station and this place for my missing stuff. So that thief should be on notice - when I get my hands on her I will punish her severely."

"You have to catch her first," said Regina, and sauntered out.

~~

Emma's decision to knock off work early was probably a good thing because her concentration was pretty shot for the next few hours. All she could think about was Regina: what she was going to do with Regina - what she planned to do to Regina - and what she would like to make Regina do. It took a while for the full implications of this gift to sink in, but when Emma finally wrapped her head around it (she was sitting at her desk at the station at the time, making a mess of some paperwork about traffic violations) she stopped breathing for a full fifteen seconds.

"You ok, Sheriff?"

Emma jumped in her seat and realised that Ruby and Katherine were staring at her. She'd forgotten they were in the office with her. Oh yeah, Katherine was here to drop off... what was she dropping off again? Was Emma meant to be paying attention?

Ruby looked concerned. "Emma, you've gone really red in the face."

Red. Ruby. Ha, that was funny... shit no. Get it together, Emma.

"I'm fine," said Emma, grinning and inhaling deeply at the same time. Which made her look like a clown, probably.

Ruby and Katherine glanced at each other. "Ok," they said, in a weird kind of unison, which made Emma feel really self-conscious. Then Emma had a bright idea.

"Say, Katherine, do you have a riding coat I could borrow?" 

Katherine's riding jacket (because that's what they were properly called, apparently) was beautifully tailored, gently flared to mid-thigh, and deep sky blue. It suited Emma perfectly. If she was going to be chasing down a petty criminal then a regal corset was out of the question, but Emma wanted to feel the part and she decided this look would do nicely. She chose dark linen pants in place of her usual jeans - more in keeping and more comfortable for going commando. A fine cream shirt with a turned up collar and her favourite boots completed the ensemble rather well. Before Emma left the house she took a coiled handful of soft, white rope from her chest of drawers and slipped it into the jacket pocket. She wasn't sure how much trouble this thief was going to be, after all.

The gardens seemed deserted as she walked outside. The early evening sun was still bright and Emma raised her hand over her eyes to peer across neat lawns into the foliage beyond. Butterflies darted about her as she crossed the ground. She listened intently for any sign of her quarry, but all she could hear was the gentle hum of bees gathering the last of the day's nectar.

Well, Regina had to be here somewhere.

Ten minutes later Emma was starting to get quite pissed that she hadn't found her. She'd searched the garage and then locked it and hidden the key to make sure Regina couldn't double back to hide inside. She'd checked the shed where the tools were kept and done the same. She'd headed out front to the porch, circled all the way round the building again, stalked the perimeter, peered under bushes and hedges and behind the climbing roses. Where the hell was she? Emma checked her watch to make sure she'd got the right time... and found herself staring at her empty wrist of course because Regina had stolen it already.

Then it occurred to her - she'd searched her "palace grounds" plenty, but she hadn't searched much above ground. Emma went back to the shed, jumped up to grab the roof and pulled herself up to peer over the top. No, not here. She dropped to the ground again and turned to scan the lengthening shadows. As her gaze drifted up she caught a glimpse of something pale peeping through the leaves of a mature weeping willow. She advanced cautiously until she was close enough to look up through the dense foliage and... well hot damn. Regina was up a fucking tree.

But Regina hadn't climbed so far that Emma couldn't dart forward, leap up high and grab her by the ankle. Regina squealed in surprise, clearly not expecting Emma to be able to reach her. Something dark and solid dropped first, missing Emma's head by an inch, and Emma saw a leather satchel land in the thin grass near her feet. Then Regina herself came tumbling down.

Emma took most of the impact of Regina's fall. She found herself on her ass on the ground with her arms wrapped around a slim, lithe, squirming... boy? Regina was dressed in a frayed pale shirt and what looked like a pair of light breeches. Her hair was tucked and hidden under a threadbare cloth cap and her feet were bare.

And boy did she struggle. Within moments Regina had slipped from Emma's grasp and was up and running. Emma threw herself forward in time to seize Regina by the calf and bring her down again. She hauled her writhing captive back across the grass.

"C'mere!"

Regina tried to kick herself free but Emma's grip was strong. She grabbed Regina's other leg.

"Keep still! Or I'll tie you up if I have to."

Regina's struggles subsided and she seemed to comply, so Emma stood up and lifted Regina to her feet too. Emma half expected Regina to double-cross her moments later and make another run for it. What she didn't expect was the swift, sharp heel to her left knee first.

"Fuck!" Emma grimaced.

Regina was quick. Emma had never really thought about how fast Regina might be able to run. She was used to seeing her in very fashionable shoes, after all; but in her bare feet and loose clothes Regina was like a bright charge of lightning across the lawn. Delayed only a few seconds by the painful kick to her knee, Emma was soon after her. She sprinted towards her prey and tackled her to the ground. Emma heard Regina gasp as they landed hard. Regina's cap flew free, letting her dark hair loose, and this time Regina didn't seem to have as much fight left in her.

"Right," said Emma, a little breathless as she kneeled over her prone prisoner. "I warned you." She pinned Regina's arms behind her back with one hand and retrieved the rope from her jacket pocket with the other. Emma tied Regina's wrists securely, content to make the knots fairly tight as the pain in her knee subsided to a dull throbbing. She hauled Regina upright again and grabbed the cap to wave it in front of Regina's face.

"Nice try, thief. You think you can throw my guards off with this little disguise? Well now you've got to deal with a queen. Why are you stealing from me?"

"I was hungry!"

Emma grabbed Regina's ass and squeezed hard. "You don't feel under-nourished."

"Ow." Regina protested as Emma groped her.

"And you've enough strength to climb trees and kick and run."

"What are you going to do to me?"

"Don't presume to question me. I'll let you know when I take a look at what you've been stealing."

Emma strode back to the willow, pulling Regina along by one arm. The mature tree's drooping branches formed a thick green curtain that encircled its trunk down to the ground. When Emma broke through the foliage again it felt as though they were entering a room nature had made just for them under the dome-like canopy. Sunlight filtered through in places, giving the whole space a translucent glow. Within the leafy walls a large stump from an older tree emerged from the ground, treated and worn smooth. Emma pushed Regina towards the tree stump, spun her around and made her sit down.

"Don't move."

Regina sat in silence while Emma picked up the dropped satchel and opened it. She watched Emma with an air of apprehension as Emma pulled out one item after another. Emma wasn't surprised to find her car keys, wristwatch and cell phone inside. She was rather surprised to find her own wallet which she didn't know was missing, various coins and some jewellery she didn't recognise in there. She looked at Regina.

"When did-"

Emma's eyes narrowed. Her fingers bushed against one last item at the bottom of the bag and she pulled it out carefully. It was a small iron jemmy, perfect for breaking open locks. Emma set her jaw. She let all the loot fall back into the satchel and put it down by the tree trunk. Then she glared down at Regina.

"You're no hungry opportunist. If you were starving you'd have a bag full of bread, not valuable trinkets like these. And you wouldn't be so well prepared. You're a professional thief."

Regina swallowed. "I'll give them back."

"They're not yours to give back. I'm taking back what's mine and I'll track down your other victims to return their possessions. Then I will make a public example of you."

"How?"

Emma smiled. Regina was just the right blend of defiant and fearful. She decided right then that she was going to enjoy punishing one while exploiting the other.

"I'll hand you over to my guards, of course. I'll tell them to tie you to the palace gates from dawn until dusk, and whip you to within an inch of your life as a lesson to other thieves."

Regina's mouth fell open. "No, please don't! I'll never steal again, I swear!"

"Don't insult me with empty promises," said Emma. She seized a fistful of Regina's shirt and pulled her to her feet again, as if to drag her away. "I know your type, thief. You have no morals and a flogging is the only language you understand."

"Fuck," said Regina, and Emma noticed the way her eyes darkened suddenly. _Interesting_.

"Sounds like I should tell them to gag you too."

Regina licked her lips. "Can't we come to some kind of arrangement instead?" she asked.

"Arrangement?"

"Yes. Perhaps I can do something to make up for this."

Emma sneered. "What could a devious criminal like you have to offer?"

"Perhaps I can do something _for_ you."

"I doubt it. Besides thieving and causing other people loss and inconvenience, what could you possibly be good at?"

"I'm good with my mouth."

Regina met Emma's sceptical gaze.

"Really?" asked Emma.

Regina nodded.

"You think you're good enough to please a queen?"

Regina nodded again.

Emma smirked. "Right then." She sat down on the tree stump and pointed one finger at the ground between her feet. "Show me."

Regina knelt down carefully in front of Emma, and her obedience sent a little thrill of arousal through Emma's body. Emma inhaled deeply as Regina shuffled closer. She spread her knees, but Regina paused. Emma frowned.

"What are you waiting for?"

"You're still wearing..." Regina's gaze flicked down to Emma's pants, then up again.

"You said you were good with your mouth."

The stern quality of Emma's voice was enough to break Regina's hesitation. She leaned forward and began to work the top of Emma's pants with her teeth, tugging at the button. Emma grinned and rested back on her hands. This was awesome.

It took a while but Regina managed to get the button undone. Then she turned her attention to the zipper - which felt a bit anachronistic, Emma admitted, but at least Regina could make faster work of it than laces. Emma lifted her hips enough to let Regina tug the linen past them. Once the pants were as far down as her thighs Emma shoved them quickly below her knees so that Regina had all the access she would need.

Regina started slow. Her lips brushed Emma's inner thigh, as soft as a butterfly's wings. Then Emma felt Regina's nose glide across the curls between her thighs as Regina moved over to the other side. Emma breathed deeply and kept herself very still while Regina planted lots of tiny kisses on her sensitive skin. The sight of Regina kneeling before her, bound and attentive, was doing things to her that threatened to excite her much too quickly. Her mouth grew dry and she licked her lips as she watched Regina drift towards her centre again.

Regina's lips touched her briefly and Emma had to steel herself against making a noise. Suddenly she felt very warm - everywhere, but especially down there. Her heartbeat increased and her skin heated in response to a delicate swipe of Regina's tongue. Then there was another lick, slower than the first, then another, quicker... Emma felt herself swell and her pulse quickened against Regina's soft mouth. She moaned.

Apparently Emma's moan encouraged Regina to tease her, because a moment later the tongue was gone and the lips were feather light on Emma's thigh again. Emma exhaled hard through her nose. This wouldn't do. No way was Regina going to take control here. She straightened and brought her hands forward to hold Regina's head, tangling her fingers in the silky smooth hair to get a good grip. Then she pulled Regina towards her, positioning her firmly so that Regina's mouth was exactly where she wanted her right now.

"Get to work, thief," said Emma.

Emma felt Regina's breath against her ripening flesh and moaned again, hoarser this time. She closed her eyes when Regina's lips made contact with her flushed skin. Then Regina was sucking, nibbling, licking again. Emma felt Regina's tongue slip inside her, and soon Regina was doing something which felt like licking and swirling at the same time, the pace building steadily. After a while Emma could only imagine a kind of tongue-twisting acrobatics going on down there but whatever it was it was wonderful, and before long Emma didn't know which part of Regina's mouth was doing what to which part of her body; but it didn't matter because it felt so good that she had to let go with one hand to brace herself, then the other too... which didn't matter either because when all was said and done Regina knew exactly what she was doing... and Emma's head fell back and she gazed up into the bright leaves and came really, really hard.

Half a minute later, when Emma had recovered enough to sit up straight again, she looked down to find Regina still kneeling and resting back on her heels. Regina's posture was submissive enough but her glistening mouth looked a little too smug for Emma's liking.

"That was... adequate," said Emma. Perfect fucking word. Emma was proud of herself. 

The flash in Regina's eyes was brief but unmistakeable. Emma smirked, pleased it had hit home.

"But you'll need to do a lot more than that to show real..." Emma paused, this time struggling to find a good word.

"Contrition?" Regina prompted, eventually.

Emma felt her own eyes flash. Fuck her. She suppressed a growl. "You sound suspiciously well-educated for a peasant," she said, knowing she sounded sulky but not caring.

"I can read too," said Regina, and her tone carried an undercurrent of sarcasm which was very light by Regina's normal standards but thoroughly intolerable in the circumstances.

Emma stood up, pulling her clothes back into place at the same time, and hauled Regina to her feet.

"So you still need to be punished, thief." 

"What? No. We had a deal!"

"Deal?" Emma laughed, mocking Regina's outburst. She untied the knots on Regina's wrists and brought her hands to the front to re-bind them tightly. "I'm a queen. Do you think I make deals with thieves?"

"But-"

"Your little performance just now means I'll spare you public humiliation, that's all. But I'll enjoy punishing you right now, myself."

Regina protested loudly but Emma wasn't really listening to the words. She threw the free end of the rope over one of the tree's lower branches and hauled down on it so that Regina was pulled upright by the arms. Another sharp tug before she tied the rope off jerked Regina up onto her toes. Regina gasped and stared at Emma, apparently shocked by the sudden cruelty.

"This is uncomfortable," said Regina.

"You want me to string you upside down?"

Regina's eyes widened. "No!"

"Because I can with no trouble. I can rope your feet instead and dangle you just as easily, if you'd like to keep complaining."

"Please don't. I'm sorry. I won't complain any more."

"We'll see," said Emma, deciding that she was going to hold Regina to that from now on. Enough of the micro-rebellions. Emma was the goddamn Queen here and Regina was going to learn to behave accordingly or else.

Emma stepped behind Regina and lifted the hem of her shirt. The thin cloth rose easily up Regina's torso and Emma was pleased to find her nude underneath. She let her fingertips scoot up Regina's sides and saw a tiny tremor in the muscles she revealed. Emma drew the shirt up over Regina's head and arms until the loose sleeves reached the rope between her wrists. Unable to remove it further, Emma settled for tossing it over the branch above and out of the way.

Emma paused then to admire what was in front of her. Regina's back was beautiful. Her skin shone deep gold where the sun caressed it through the leaves. Emma stroked down Regina's arms to her tight shoulders, then down the definition of her spine until she reached the narrow waist. Regina was so warm and smooth. Emma let her fingers drift around to her belly and up until they found Regina's breasts. She couldn't see them but she felt them, soft to the touch but firm when squeezed, and raised a little by the suspension. Emma heard Regina's sharp intake of breath as her thumbs flicked over the nipples.

Then Emma drew her fingernails gently down Regina's abdomen until she felt the top of her boyish breeches. She located the simple lace and undid it quickly, then tugged the loose fabric free. The breeches slipped down easily over Regina's slim hips and fell to her shins, exposing everything above to the early evening air and to Emma's hungry gaze.

Emma took a step back to appreciate the view. The sight of Regina pulled taut and on display for her would have driven her crazy with desire if she hadn't been well satisfied just minutes earlier. Regina was all fine curves and firm lines. Emma wondered what this was doing to Regina and decided to find out. She moved round in front of her and put two fingers between her naked thighs.

Regina whimpered at the contact and bit her lip. Emma smiled at the contained response and wiggled her fingers. Regina was so warm and fluid. Emma wanted to play with her right then, but she resisted such an obvious temptation. She stilled her fingers and simply pressed them against the unmistakable need building beneath Regina's silky curls. Helpless, Regina pushed forward to meet Emma, but she had so little leverage and Emma only had to withdraw a few millimetres to deny her the friction she so clearly wanted.

"Look at you," said Emma, "trying to fuck yourself on my hand. First no morals and now no shame."

Regina lowered her head and moaned.

Emma turned away and examined the tree's branches quickly. She walked behind Regina and soon found what she was looking for - a thin, tapered piece of willow which she snapped off and brushed clean. She practised swinging it and found it to be pliant and light enough. She snapped the switch hard against her leg to test its effect and felt its bite through her pants. Yeah, it would sting.

Regina heard the sharp sound and tried to look around to see what Emma was doing.

"Eyes front!"

Regina obeyed instantly and Emma grinned. She walked in front of her captive again. Regina noticed the willow in Emma's hand and breathed one long, shaky word.

"Ohhh..."

And Emma couldn't tell whether the plaintive sigh that followed was one of anticipation or quiet dismay. She thought it might be both. Emma put a hand under Regina's chin and lifted her head.

"You do look too pretty to chastise, but what kind of a queen would I be if I didn't do my duty?"

"Not a good one," said Regina.

"Exactly. I'm responsible for law and order. I would send a very poor message if I let you get away with what you've done, wouldn't I?"

Regina nodded, apparently resigned to her fate.

Emma relented and loosened the rope enough so that Regina could rest on her heels again. She had no intention of rushing this, after all. A small gasp of relief escaped Regina's throat as much of the tension left her arms.

"Right then," said Emma. "Twelve strokes should do it."

Regina swallowed hard. "Twelve?"

"Pretty lenient given the trouble you've caused me, don't you think?"

Regina said nothing. Emma guessed she hadn't expected anything like that many; but the way Regina's skin darkened in her cheeks and the deep flush spread down her throat and across her chest told Emma exactly what kind of arousal Regina was experiencing right now.

"And," said Emma, her tone stern, "you will take them in silence."

Regina's eyes widened again suddenly and she stared into Emma's face. She looked genuinely worried.

"What?" said Emma.

"I don't think I can."

Emma considered this frank admission. Regina wasn't quiet even at the best of times. Especially not at the best of times. Perhaps it was a bit much to ask. It occurred to Emma that she should spend some time and money investing in gags. Lots of gags, of various types, in assorted colours. Regina was rather too fond of the sound of her own voice and she had such a lovely mouth. Yeah, gags would be brilliant.

But Emma was nothing if not resourceful so she delved into the branches again and snapped off a short twig. She rubbed it vigorously against her palm to remove all traces of thin bark until she was down to the fresh pale wood underneath and then held it up.

"Open your mouth."

Regina obeyed and Emma placed the little stick between her teeth like a bit.

"Ok, thief. You can make as much noise as you like, but this stays put. Do you understand?"

Regina's jaw closed on the stick and she nodded.

"I mean it, thief. If this twig touches the ground, I will double your punishment. Got it?"

Regina nodded again, a little more vigorously as the threat sunk in.

"Good."

Then Emma stepped behind Regina, adopted a balanced stance, and gave her a swift swat on the ass with the switch.

It wasn't that hard and Regina didn't appear to react. Emma gave her another, a little harsher, and Regina's arms tightened slightly in the moments afterwards as the inevitable sting flared where it landed. Emma adjusted her position and struck with a wider arc, making sure the tapered end of the switch made sharp contact with the middle of one firm, round cheek. Regina flinched.

Emma smiled and delivered the same stroke to the other cheek, harder. Regina yelped, and Emma noticed that her skin was beginning to redden where the willow had landed. It was probably starting to sting quite a lot, she thought. She aimed carefully, taking her time, and struck Regina across one hip, then the other. Regina's whole body reacted this time, her hands drawing into fists and her limbs growing tense.

Emma stepped quickly and silently in front of Regina to get a look at her reaction from the front. Regina had her eyes shut, waiting for the next stroke on her ass, so when Emma pinched her nipple hard instead she wasn't expecting it. She jumped and squeaked and her lips parted in surprise. The little stick fell out.

Emma's instinct was fast and she caught the stick with the same hand that had teased Regina's breast.

"Oh dear," said Emma. "That was careless."

The resulting alarm on Regina's face was nothing short of exquisite. She gaped down at the stick, dismayed by its loss. Then she looked up at Emma, trepidation growing on her face.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to."

"Of course it hasn't fallen on the ground." Emma's lip curled. "Yet."

Regina looked down again, catching Emma's drift. "Please don't-"

Emma tossed the stick into the air casually... and caught it.

"And it would be a shame if it does touch the ground," she said, "because then your ass is toast."

Emma threw it up in the air again, higher and with a flick of her wrist. The stick spun a few times before it landed in her palm and her fingers closed around it. Regina gasped and her eyes pleaded. Emma tossed the stick again. This time she didn't even look at it as she caught it. Regina whimpered.

Emma's smile grew into the most evil grin she'd ever felt grace her own features. She'd known this evening was going to be good but she hadn't anticipated quite how much fun she could have with it. As she opened her hand again and let the stick balance on just two fingers, then on one, Emma wondered whether she needed to feel a little guilty for having mildly sadistic fun at Regina's expense. Then she thought about the time she'd spent groping in the confined and dusty spaces under her car seats searching for her stuff that she'd "lost", and decided that she really didn't.

Eventually Emma held the stick up to Regina's lips and put a merciful end to her panic. Regina took it in her mouth.

"You won't get a second chance," Emma warned.

Regina's grip on the wood tightened and Emma knew there would be teeth marks on it.

"Now tell me, thief, have you been counting?"

Regina nodded.

"Good. So you know we should be half way through?"

Another nod.

"Well we're not. Because your carelessness has earned you an extra stroke."

Regina sighed, and Emma got the impression that she'd already figured that out.

"And you should also know that I've just been warming you up."

Regina groaned.

"And while you count to thirteen you might want to think about what you did to deserve this, thief."

Then Emma delivered the rest of Regina's punishment with steady, unhurried precision. She aimed full, parallel strokes that ranged across Regina's ass. At one point Emma saw Regina's fists grip fiercely at the rope that held her, and she noticed a single trickle of sweat running down between her shoulders. Regina shook in response a couple of times, and Emma was pretty sure that some of the noises she expelled past the twig in her mouth were curses. When it came to the final stroke, Emma went for the tender spot where Regina's ass met her thighs. Regina almost leapt off the ground.

" _Fuck!_ " Regina blurted.

Emma dropped the willow and moved around fast to take the twig away and toss it. She grabbed Regina by the thighs and lifted her up, taking most of her weight on her own hips.

"Now? Or shall I untie you first?" Emma asked.

" _Now_ , for fuck's sake!"

Emma relished the feel of Regina's toned legs gripping her waist and the heat of Regina's ass in her palms. Her own hands must feel cool against Regina's inflamed skin, she realised. Regina must be desperate to touch herself there and soothe the burning, but apparently she was even more desperate for another kind of touch. Emma braced herself with one hand against Regina's lower back and curled her other to reach Regina's liquid warmth underneath. Her fingers sought and found slippery tightness and began to slide in and out. With her face pressed hard into a soft cleavage Emma could feel Regina's racing heartbeat. When Emma's thumb found the perfect spot to circle and rub, Regina's breaths grew harsh and fast. The thighs that gripped Emma's waist tightened like a vice and Emma felt Regina rippling and convulsing and shaking herself rigid with a fierce climax.

And of course Regina wasn't remotely quiet about it.

~~

An hour later, after they had showered together at length, during which Emma did all the careful washing and was extremely attentive and Regina came again (albeit this time not loud enough to scare the local wildlife), Regina relaxed face down on the bed while Emma lay beside her and used a delicate fingertip to apply soothing balm to each fine red stripe on her ass.

"Your ass is so unbelievably beautiful," said Emma. She was familiar with Regina's nether regions, of course, yet still couldn't help being somewhat awestruck.

Regina sighed in contentment.

"I mean it, Regina. In all the lands both with and without magic, your ass reigns supreme."

"I know, sweetheart."

"In fact your ass is so perfect that the only thing which can enhance it are these lovely stripes I put on it."

"Congratulations, dear. You're an artist."

Emma retrieved more balm and moved onto the next parallel stripe. "So how about you just walk around the house naked for the next few days so I can admire this pretty pattern on your ass?"

Regina peered over her shoulder. The look she gave Emma could have reduced a mountain of granite to a molten lake.

Emma's grin was so sheepish it was in need of a shear. "Snowball fights in hell first, huh?"

Regina turned away again, refusing to dignify Emma's suggestion with further response.

Emma traced another sweet line with her fingertip. "I guess this means you'd prefer to be on top tonight?"

Regina just snorted.

"Seriously, though, after this I'll understand if you want to go vanilla for a while."

"Darling, nothing we do is really vanilla - especially not by your mother's standards."

Emma's finger stilled in the ointment pot. She winced. "Oh. Did you have to go there?"

"But then Snow does have a crippling lack of imagination in the bedroom department."

Emma sighed. "Regina, I'm three inches from your coochie. Please don't talk about my mother."

"Believe it or not, there was actually a time when I worried for her."

"I really don't need to know," said Emma, hoping this would go no further.

"It's true. The whole palace worried about Snow." Regina was on a roll now. "Once when she was sixteen I found her lecturing her pet cat about its promiscuity."

"The fuck, Regina. What did I just say?"

"And her outlook hasn't mellowed with age. If anything she's become more anal... hmm, probably not the best term to use in this context."

"Are you doing this on purpose?"

" _Missionary_. That's the one."

"Stop. Now."

"Anything other than missionary and her nipples would invert in panic."

"Ok, I'm begging you..."

"I don't often have cause to pity your father, but I can't imagine the sex is particular-"

"Enough!" Emma slapped Regina's ass hard.

" _Ow!_ "

Regina's firm curves bounced under the impact. Then she buried her face in her pillow and moaned appreciatively.

"Ha!" said Emma. "Pain slut."

"Oh, kiss my ass," said Regina.

So Emma did. A lot.

~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and feedback welcome :)


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